Publication

Silent tears drop inside

Carelessness in breath

Piercing eyes of red

Hearts are full of pain.

Simple minds and prosperity

The good will and well done

Slowly

It ends.

...to be continued.

How should I feel? Where does my life story begin? How do I know when I’m there? Where am I going to end up? Why haven’t I started?

These questions scare the hell out of me. I know most of the answers, but they are not what I want to hear. If I just push a little harder, that crack in the door just might get bigger. And if I work really, really hard, I just might be able to squeeze through and make my dream a reality.

Starting out to the early birds whistling through the soft breeze of a warm Virginia morning, I stretch my arms out in the form of what looks like some cheerleading routine and open my mouth as wide as a hippo for what seemed like the longest yawn I’d had in decades. Opening my comforter like a giant page in a book, I sit up with exhaustion and try to clumsily slide into my favorite blue jeans and stand up. My first thought is that my belly doesn’t seem to want to shrink and my shirts don’t want to get any bigger.

“I need to go to the gym…” I said in a “matter-of-fact” tone.

Pulling on an old morning t-shirt, I start my trudge upstairs towards the kitchen for a tasty, hearty breakfast; my favorite meal of the day. A smile spread a across my face like butter on a piece of bread when I took my first step out of my bedroom. I could just taste the sensation. The smell of fresh, skillet cooked eggs and sausage. Light brown pancakes with maple syrup to dress them. And Columbian coffee, hot and ready to be served without a moments notice.

“Good morning Mom!” I said in an exciting, hungry tone.

“Good mornin’ Tom. I hope you’re hungry!” She said with a smile.

“Oh I’m starving! This breakfast looks amazing! Thanks mom.”

“Oh no problem. I want you to get a good meal in before you go out looking for a job.”

My stomach went into knots. I had forgotten that I had to go out and get applications today.